Looking Through Patient Eyes
The sun shun bright from between the flaps slightly touching my face with its warmth, creeping its way under my eye lids. I slowly opened my eyes and at the same time shut them to protect them from the blinding morning star, I put on my on my under shirt and my old Nevada pair of jeans and dragged my feet across the gray Persian carpet to the sink. I looked in the mirror and saw nothing but a tired face that was not willing to open up to the world and explore it’s bright side, I splashed my face with the frosty water and felt my skin stiffen up under it. I walked back to the room and opened the window, a cold gust of wind took over the humid and rotten air that filled the room. I looked down on the opposite side of the street and saw two men dressed up in suits arguing over what seemed like a business deal and in this part of town its normally a drug deal they’re arguing about. Around the corner I saw an old man digging into a pile of garbage for food, it wasn’t exactly the perfect view to start a day with but it was good enough.
I picked up my gun from the table and stuffed it behind my belt, threw my badge into my bag and grabbed my keys on the way out. I shoved my key into the lock of my seventy-nine Pontiac Charger and kicked the door to open it, then turned the switch and blasted the neighborhood with this mad machine’s roar. Of course I couldn’t escape the scene without the dirty looks shooting at me! Anyway I managed to get the L.A.P.D. head building and find a parking space about seven blocks east. After pushing and shoving I finally reached my pleasurable and cozy cubical, I put my bag down and looked around and saw all the other officers diving into their roof supporting paper work and figured out I would be doing the same in a while. At around eleven forty seven am(11:47 am) I turned deaf because of a scream yelled out across the floor from the senior chief’s office saying “HEY !! EDDY, get your cute little butt in here” I looked down at my badge on the left side of my shirt and checked if I was the one? And YUP it was me! I stood up tall and straight to show that I had something to be proud of then I was broken down by another yell saying “Come on you tall freak, I don’t have all day!!”. So I walked straight to his office and closed the door behind me, he sat down with his feet up and as he came forward he put them down. He looked at me from top to bottom and said “You’re the kid that handled the Marlowe case right?” I replied “yah, that’s me…” then he said “ You got some neat work done there, Impressive !” . I knew he didn’t call me in here to praise me for my work, so I asked him straight to his face “ OK chief , let me hear it , what is it this time ?”. He laughed heavily and said “Actin smart aih??, Well your right, you aint here for you good work, what do you think we’re payin you for ?? Its about Rina, Rina Marlowe”. She was the daughter of the victim in that case and I have quite a nice history to recall with her, she was a very attractive and considerate type of girl, one of those mystery girls you never get to understand. Ever since 1996 , after her father’s death, she and I have been good friends , we spent most of our weekends together and some times I would spend the night at her place or she would spend it in mine. I remember it all started when I was assigned to protect her after the murder, then she decided to stay attached to me because she felt “safe” when I was around. Anyway I asked him
“What about her??” he said “We know you’ve been playin with your tale lately so we thought you might know something about her”. See that’s the problem with this world everything is always taken in the wrong direction and explained in a materialistic way. I felt like pulling my gun out and shooting him for sticking to the idea that she and I were having and affair. Anyhow I said “What do you wanna know?” he replied “Where she is??”. I looked at him with a great surprise and told him “You can get that by just entering her name into the system, how hard is that?”. He looked at me in disappointment and answered “You fool! You think I don’t know that after working in this place for more then thirty years?? What the hell is wrong with you??”. That’s the only time I ever thought the chief made any sense in his conversation, he continued “She’s missin, she was kidnapped this morning”.
Two days later, after working for forty eight hours straight and living on nothing but dark warm coffee and donuts, I managed to trace her. This girl meant a lot to me, she was the only girl I’ve been friends with for such a long time and all this time not one thought crossed her mind. She simply accepted the true friendship. Anyway I didn’t tell anybody that I found her, didn’t write any reports or signed any papers! I wanted it to be personal. I walked off the floor and went straight to my car, turned it on and again found all praising from the people eyes! I Then headed to (568 Berry Lane Ave. ” It was an abandoned building in the old part of Los Angeles, where you normally found the homeless and the hopeless! It took me a while to get there, specially since all these cardboard taped up mansions were based and built in the middle of the street. The building was a catastrophe, old red bricks so wet they’re nearly dissolving, no glass on the windows only wooden bars and water leaking from everywhere! As I got out of the car, I felt myself as if I was the person who discovered America, the people’s eyes dug through my car and through my pants, it seemed like they have never seen a car before! Anyhow I walked up the front stairs and nearly broke my neck a couple of times, pushed the front door open, it was held by a nail and a rusty bar sticking out of its place. I stepped inside the it was dead silent, full of trash and very foggy, I’m not sure if it was fog or the dust from the ceiling trying to tell me that it is beginning it’s countdown. I looked around there was nothing, I began to doubt my sixteen years of training then I heard a “CLICK”, of coarse a “click” is never good, I reached for my gun and clicked it myself! I switched from the Marco Polo mood to a defensive one and began to listen. Slowly, I maneuvered my way around the place with my back always to the wall, went up the stairs without making a thud, suddenly I saw this object sticking out of a wall, it was exactly the same color, it was rolled up and crying, it was RINA!!! I looked around for the kidnappers, the killers, the whole case?? Nothing, there wasn’t anybody else other then Rina and I. I didn’t know what to do, after all I was never a family man and the academy never trained you for something like this. I didn’t know to either feel pity or suspicion? Bit by bit I got closer to her, I kneeled down on one knee and lifted her chin up, it wasn’t the face I knew, It wasn’t the face that always had a hidden smile somewhere! Her face had a shadow, tears that were either gray or black because of her eye liner, they streamed down her face and into her mouth, she looked exhausted and lost. She looked up at me, I saw the intent look watering its way through her eye, I asked her “Rina!! What’s wrong??”, No reply. I held her hand and helped her to her feet, then put my hand behind her knee and picked her up like a mother picking up her baby, she put her arms around my neck and rested her head against my chest and in no time she was asleep.
I turned around to a cough that came from the living room, I knew it was hers, she probably woke up. I came into the room with two French vanillas in my hand, I kept one in my grip and handed her the other. She smiled and put her head down. She knew she had to begin talking sometime soon, I guess she wanted to get it over with so she said “Ed, listen to me, what happened to me yesterday was with my own will, I went all the way to old L.A. by my self and on foot, I felt lost, I felt in need, I wanted something I couldn’t have!”. I looked at her in surprise and said “What is it you want??”. She didn’t reply and kept on going “I told Mrs. Adams (the next door neighbor and Rina’s best friend) to call the cops”, I asked “Why ??” she said “well because, ummm .. I knew they would send you and I wanted to show you how I am when your not near me!! ”. For one moment the air was still in the room, not a sound could be heard, I couldn’t believe what I heard, I said “well why do you do that to yourself?? Why go through so much pain?? Friends will always stay friends …” and she interrupted me by saying “ I know you always thought we were friends but .. Ed your not my friend, you’re my dream! Ever since my father died, I haven’t had anybody else but you! You took care of me when I needed you, did everything with me, helped me up when I fell …”. Then she put her head down and began to tear, with a low soft voice she said “ I don’t wanna ever leave you, I cant be in this world with out you, I feel lost, pointless, I feel DEAD without you”. For the first time in a very long time I began to cry, I cried for the time I wasted and making myself believe that we’re just friends when I actually loved her and she loved me, I cried for the pain I put her through, for the wounds I’ve caused.
I dropped to my knees like a bamboo stick snapping at its base, falling so hard that one of my knees bashed side ways and now I was lying on the wooden floor, helpless and motionless. I was thinking of nothing except of what I’m going to do?? I had no ideas flowing in my mind, no hopes of making it up! She came off the couch to the floor and put her hand on my knee, it was swollen. She helped me up to the swivel chair and ran to the freezer to get some ice, I didn’t even know what she was doing. My mind was in a total different world, full of dreams and hallucinations. She put the ice pack on my knee, I felt a cold creature creeping up my body to the top of my head and electrify my brain cells and wake me up from my intense day dreaming. I looked down at her as she was pressing the ice pack against my knee with one hand and wiping her dry tears with the other, I put my hand under her chin and lifted it up with two of my fingers. I looked at her eyes which had a honeyish color and a black center, they were shivering in hope, moving smoothly around my face asking me what I’m going to do now that I know? At the beginning I appreciated the fact of our close friendship but I got to admit it in one way or another that I did really love her and was just scared to face her with it, and from what I see the feeling was mutual! But she piled more nerve to face me with it and endure the doubt of my decision which is truly something I praise! Anyway after our staring competition I lifted her with my arm and pushed my self off the swivel chair with the other, I stood a few inches taller then her and then at the exact same instant we hugged so tight that I thought my ribs would crack any second now. We stayed in that position for at least half an hour letting it all sink in! After that I looked down at her and smiled and made her smile too by saying “Do you think I need to ask you out?? She replied while laughing “Well a drink would be nice you cheap loser!!!” I picked her up and kissed her. And in no time we had our drinks and were walking in the park holding each others hands, well actually she was walking and I was shuffling my feet leaving a trace of a heavily dug trail of a new born life.
I picked up my gun from the table and stuffed it behind my belt, threw my badge into my bag and grabbed my keys on the way out. I shoved my key into the lock of my seventy-nine Pontiac Charger and kicked the door to open it, then turned the switch and blasted the neighborhood with this mad machine’s roar. Of course I couldn’t escape the scene without the dirty looks shooting at me! Anyway I managed to get the L.A.P.D. head building and find a parking space about seven blocks east. After pushing and shoving I finally reached my pleasurable and cozy cubical, I put my bag down and looked around and saw all the other officers diving into their roof supporting paper work and figured out I would be doing the same in a while. At around eleven forty seven am(11:47 am) I turned deaf because of a scream yelled out across the floor from the senior chief’s office saying “HEY !! EDDY, get your cute little butt in here” I looked down at my badge on the left side of my shirt and checked if I was the one? And YUP it was me! I stood up tall and straight to show that I had something to be proud of then I was broken down by another yell saying “Come on you tall freak, I don’t have all day!!”. So I walked straight to his office and closed the door behind me, he sat down with his feet up and as he came forward he put them down. He looked at me from top to bottom and said “You’re the kid that handled the Marlowe case right?” I replied “yah, that’s me…” then he said “ You got some neat work done there, Impressive !” . I knew he didn’t call me in here to praise me for my work, so I asked him straight to his face “ OK chief , let me hear it , what is it this time ?”. He laughed heavily and said “Actin smart aih??, Well your right, you aint here for you good work, what do you think we’re payin you for ?? Its about Rina, Rina Marlowe”. She was the daughter of the victim in that case and I have quite a nice history to recall with her, she was a very attractive and considerate type of girl, one of those mystery girls you never get to understand. Ever since 1996 , after her father’s death, she and I have been good friends , we spent most of our weekends together and some times I would spend the night at her place or she would spend it in mine. I remember it all started when I was assigned to protect her after the murder, then she decided to stay attached to me because she felt “safe” when I was around. Anyway I asked him
“What about her??” he said “We know you’ve been playin with your tale lately so we thought you might know something about her”. See that’s the problem with this world everything is always taken in the wrong direction and explained in a materialistic way. I felt like pulling my gun out and shooting him for sticking to the idea that she and I were having and affair. Anyhow I said “What do you wanna know?” he replied “Where she is??”. I looked at him with a great surprise and told him “You can get that by just entering her name into the system, how hard is that?”. He looked at me in disappointment and answered “You fool! You think I don’t know that after working in this place for more then thirty years?? What the hell is wrong with you??”. That’s the only time I ever thought the chief made any sense in his conversation, he continued “She’s missin, she was kidnapped this morning”.
Two days later, after working for forty eight hours straight and living on nothing but dark warm coffee and donuts, I managed to trace her. This girl meant a lot to me, she was the only girl I’ve been friends with for such a long time and all this time not one thought crossed her mind. She simply accepted the true friendship. Anyway I didn’t tell anybody that I found her, didn’t write any reports or signed any papers! I wanted it to be personal. I walked off the floor and went straight to my car, turned it on and again found all praising from the people eyes! I Then headed to (568 Berry Lane Ave. ” It was an abandoned building in the old part of Los Angeles, where you normally found the homeless and the hopeless! It took me a while to get there, specially since all these cardboard taped up mansions were based and built in the middle of the street. The building was a catastrophe, old red bricks so wet they’re nearly dissolving, no glass on the windows only wooden bars and water leaking from everywhere! As I got out of the car, I felt myself as if I was the person who discovered America, the people’s eyes dug through my car and through my pants, it seemed like they have never seen a car before! Anyhow I walked up the front stairs and nearly broke my neck a couple of times, pushed the front door open, it was held by a nail and a rusty bar sticking out of its place. I stepped inside the it was dead silent, full of trash and very foggy, I’m not sure if it was fog or the dust from the ceiling trying to tell me that it is beginning it’s countdown. I looked around there was nothing, I began to doubt my sixteen years of training then I heard a “CLICK”, of coarse a “click” is never good, I reached for my gun and clicked it myself! I switched from the Marco Polo mood to a defensive one and began to listen. Slowly, I maneuvered my way around the place with my back always to the wall, went up the stairs without making a thud, suddenly I saw this object sticking out of a wall, it was exactly the same color, it was rolled up and crying, it was RINA!!! I looked around for the kidnappers, the killers, the whole case?? Nothing, there wasn’t anybody else other then Rina and I. I didn’t know what to do, after all I was never a family man and the academy never trained you for something like this. I didn’t know to either feel pity or suspicion? Bit by bit I got closer to her, I kneeled down on one knee and lifted her chin up, it wasn’t the face I knew, It wasn’t the face that always had a hidden smile somewhere! Her face had a shadow, tears that were either gray or black because of her eye liner, they streamed down her face and into her mouth, she looked exhausted and lost. She looked up at me, I saw the intent look watering its way through her eye, I asked her “Rina!! What’s wrong??”, No reply. I held her hand and helped her to her feet, then put my hand behind her knee and picked her up like a mother picking up her baby, she put her arms around my neck and rested her head against my chest and in no time she was asleep.
I turned around to a cough that came from the living room, I knew it was hers, she probably woke up. I came into the room with two French vanillas in my hand, I kept one in my grip and handed her the other. She smiled and put her head down. She knew she had to begin talking sometime soon, I guess she wanted to get it over with so she said “Ed, listen to me, what happened to me yesterday was with my own will, I went all the way to old L.A. by my self and on foot, I felt lost, I felt in need, I wanted something I couldn’t have!”. I looked at her in surprise and said “What is it you want??”. She didn’t reply and kept on going “I told Mrs. Adams (the next door neighbor and Rina’s best friend) to call the cops”, I asked “Why ??” she said “well because, ummm .. I knew they would send you and I wanted to show you how I am when your not near me!! ”. For one moment the air was still in the room, not a sound could be heard, I couldn’t believe what I heard, I said “well why do you do that to yourself?? Why go through so much pain?? Friends will always stay friends …” and she interrupted me by saying “ I know you always thought we were friends but .. Ed your not my friend, you’re my dream! Ever since my father died, I haven’t had anybody else but you! You took care of me when I needed you, did everything with me, helped me up when I fell …”. Then she put her head down and began to tear, with a low soft voice she said “ I don’t wanna ever leave you, I cant be in this world with out you, I feel lost, pointless, I feel DEAD without you”. For the first time in a very long time I began to cry, I cried for the time I wasted and making myself believe that we’re just friends when I actually loved her and she loved me, I cried for the pain I put her through, for the wounds I’ve caused.
I dropped to my knees like a bamboo stick snapping at its base, falling so hard that one of my knees bashed side ways and now I was lying on the wooden floor, helpless and motionless. I was thinking of nothing except of what I’m going to do?? I had no ideas flowing in my mind, no hopes of making it up! She came off the couch to the floor and put her hand on my knee, it was swollen. She helped me up to the swivel chair and ran to the freezer to get some ice, I didn’t even know what she was doing. My mind was in a total different world, full of dreams and hallucinations. She put the ice pack on my knee, I felt a cold creature creeping up my body to the top of my head and electrify my brain cells and wake me up from my intense day dreaming. I looked down at her as she was pressing the ice pack against my knee with one hand and wiping her dry tears with the other, I put my hand under her chin and lifted it up with two of my fingers. I looked at her eyes which had a honeyish color and a black center, they were shivering in hope, moving smoothly around my face asking me what I’m going to do now that I know? At the beginning I appreciated the fact of our close friendship but I got to admit it in one way or another that I did really love her and was just scared to face her with it, and from what I see the feeling was mutual! But she piled more nerve to face me with it and endure the doubt of my decision which is truly something I praise! Anyway after our staring competition I lifted her with my arm and pushed my self off the swivel chair with the other, I stood a few inches taller then her and then at the exact same instant we hugged so tight that I thought my ribs would crack any second now. We stayed in that position for at least half an hour letting it all sink in! After that I looked down at her and smiled and made her smile too by saying “Do you think I need to ask you out?? She replied while laughing “Well a drink would be nice you cheap loser!!!” I picked her up and kissed her. And in no time we had our drinks and were walking in the park holding each others hands, well actually she was walking and I was shuffling my feet leaving a trace of a heavily dug trail of a new born life.
posted by Haytham at 12:31 AM
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