Feb.20.2009

4 a.m.
I rest hugged by my deep bed feeling uneasy about many things. Not so much daily things like bills or tomorrow's plans etc. No this time its different. Its the type of uneasiness that sticks. That makes you want to run outside knowing that its -25C, the type of uneasiness that squeezes the life out of your heart and constrains every beat. The type of pain that is rooted in nations. Not countries. Nations of oppressed beings. People who witnessed what a human mind cant imagine. Millions of them, they are literally one of a kind. They all share the same feelings, same helplessness, same pain. I cant sleep. I cant breathe.

I don’t want to ponder or wonder how all this oppression is possible. I know people are capable of committing it. History books speak all about it repeating as the clock of the night ticks.

I just wonder how I am sitting here, hugged and cuddled by my quilt while I know there is a child in Gaza cold and hungry, or a teenager in Africa running from the war industry that takes them in "The Bush" and moulds them to a killing machine.


Or a woman from the Ukraine being raped every hour in Turkey or sold to the EU.
I cant sleep. I cant breathe.

I googled " stop sex trafficking"
- nothing came up except information excerpts. Really? that it? That’s all I can do? only read about it? just gain more knowledge of how horrible it is and sit in my slumber. i wanted to join a coalition, an NGO, anything that will help me sleep tonight. Nothing. Please Help.



1000's died last month while i sat in my slumber. i cant sleep, i cant breathe.



I don’t know what to think of prisons. Are they protecting us from mass killers and rapists? Or are they just another torture machine, where humans, just like me and you are subdued into breaking into the pleasure and demand of the oppressor. Some one just like you and me. Who walked into a mall, bought socks and ice-cream and got on the bus home. All of a sudden is now in a room, tortured by spits and rods.

Really? Is this it? This is the world I want to make better? Or grow into? Is this the place where I want to become an independent man who shines with creativity and efficiency.

I come to ponder upon my goals of being successful in what i do, perhaps success means prestige and money. why? why do i need money and prestige when a mother from Ukraine is being raped hourly in a different country just to send money home. Or people put into an organized, very well planned and made to be civilized system of slavery in the so called oil rich countries. i cant sleep. i cant breathe.

I don’t mean to push the reader into depression. But those are serious issues. These are things that are happening now. This minute. As im typing and you reading, some one is being hurt! My guts twist at that thought. I want to write a list of things that we need to change as humans. As individuals. Put a face and name and picture to each one of these issues. They aren’t general and faceless. They are happening. And happening RIGHT NOW!

1- Sex Slavery and Trafficking
2- Mass murder and genocide
3- Torture of human beings
4- Torture of animals
5- Systematic luring into slavery
6- Under age labor
7- homelessness. – in 2009 when there is ONE person living in a mansion there are 1000’s without a home. Can you imagine that? You having NO WHERE TO GO AT THE END OF THE DAY ... or sleep at night. Just imagine it, as you come back from work, school, whatever, there is no place to go. You just sit there , on public property, gazing into nothing. you stink, you're hungry, you feel shallow, you want it to stop. And then someone like me says I cant sleep or breathe?
8- This one is yours to fill
9- so is this one
10- and this one
11- ...
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I cant sleep. Writing this is helping me breathe.