27.4.2011 - 0809 AM - AUH Time.

For the first time in two years I smiled at work. I smiled because I knew what was coming, I got a glimpse of the future. I felt at ease with myself and accepted my reality, Finally.

I AM FUCKING LEAVING! I can sit here for weeks complaining and telling you every itsy bitsy problem with my job. But frankly I don't think you care and neither do I. It's simply not worth the effort or time.

However, what is worth sharing is I have succeeded in getting the most supportive wife in the world, she is the very definition a kindness or something in arabic called " Hanan" (حنان)and now we are leaving and traveling around the world together. And I simply cannot wait.

I cannot wait to feel alive and rejuvenate my senses with the sights,sounds and tastes that this world has to offer. I feel like I have been imprisoned for 2 years and now I know I am getting my release papers.

I want to write more and I will.

But for now this should do...


Good day :) ( nod's his head and tips his non-existent hat)

Feb.20.2009

4 a.m.
I rest hugged by my deep bed feeling uneasy about many things. Not so much daily things like bills or tomorrow's plans etc. No this time its different. Its the type of uneasiness that sticks. That makes you want to run outside knowing that its -25C, the type of uneasiness that squeezes the life out of your heart and constrains every beat. The type of pain that is rooted in nations. Not countries. Nations of oppressed beings. People who witnessed what a human mind cant imagine. Millions of them, they are literally one of a kind. They all share the same feelings, same helplessness, same pain. I cant sleep. I cant breathe.

I don’t want to ponder or wonder how all this oppression is possible. I know people are capable of committing it. History books speak all about it repeating as the clock of the night ticks.

I just wonder how I am sitting here, hugged and cuddled by my quilt while I know there is a child in Gaza cold and hungry, or a teenager in Africa running from the war industry that takes them in "The Bush" and moulds them to a killing machine.


Or a woman from the Ukraine being raped every hour in Turkey or sold to the EU.
I cant sleep. I cant breathe.

I googled " stop sex trafficking"
- nothing came up except information excerpts. Really? that it? That’s all I can do? only read about it? just gain more knowledge of how horrible it is and sit in my slumber. i wanted to join a coalition, an NGO, anything that will help me sleep tonight. Nothing. Please Help.



1000's died last month while i sat in my slumber. i cant sleep, i cant breathe.



I don’t know what to think of prisons. Are they protecting us from mass killers and rapists? Or are they just another torture machine, where humans, just like me and you are subdued into breaking into the pleasure and demand of the oppressor. Some one just like you and me. Who walked into a mall, bought socks and ice-cream and got on the bus home. All of a sudden is now in a room, tortured by spits and rods.

Really? Is this it? This is the world I want to make better? Or grow into? Is this the place where I want to become an independent man who shines with creativity and efficiency.

I come to ponder upon my goals of being successful in what i do, perhaps success means prestige and money. why? why do i need money and prestige when a mother from Ukraine is being raped hourly in a different country just to send money home. Or people put into an organized, very well planned and made to be civilized system of slavery in the so called oil rich countries. i cant sleep. i cant breathe.

I don’t mean to push the reader into depression. But those are serious issues. These are things that are happening now. This minute. As im typing and you reading, some one is being hurt! My guts twist at that thought. I want to write a list of things that we need to change as humans. As individuals. Put a face and name and picture to each one of these issues. They aren’t general and faceless. They are happening. And happening RIGHT NOW!

1- Sex Slavery and Trafficking
2- Mass murder and genocide
3- Torture of human beings
4- Torture of animals
5- Systematic luring into slavery
6- Under age labor
7- homelessness. – in 2009 when there is ONE person living in a mansion there are 1000’s without a home. Can you imagine that? You having NO WHERE TO GO AT THE END OF THE DAY ... or sleep at night. Just imagine it, as you come back from work, school, whatever, there is no place to go. You just sit there , on public property, gazing into nothing. you stink, you're hungry, you feel shallow, you want it to stop. And then someone like me says I cant sleep or breathe?
8- This one is yours to fill
9- so is this one
10- and this one
11- ...
12-
13-
14-
15-
16-
17-
18-
19-
20-
21-
22-

I cant sleep. Writing this is helping me breathe.

To My Homeland

To My Homeland
I Miss you
every grain of sand
i own you.

Not once but twice have we revolted
still the world does not stand with us
your images are in my soul bolted
58 years ain't worth the fuss

14 more to go as written in their books
Ummah with an under current that is slowly rising
No more living under these crooks
Islam is decriminalizing


disbursed around the world like an atom
Dabka beats pounding the earth
shaking each heart to a fathom
To Ramallah my place of birth

Jenin the stronghold of the unbeatable
Tulkarem the valley of olive trees
Gaza our gate to the limitless sea
Yafa the city of everlasting mosques
Nablus the sweetness of our heart
Haifa the calmness of the mind
Al-Quds the Mother of civilization

Palestine.
I Love you

To My Dawgs

alright... meet me there .. later yo.. peace.

4pm infront of ahmads house
one, two, three, 4 cars parked in the street
we sit on our cars waitin for a rouse
sun comes down on us, lets pray, shoes off our feet

praya time, lets walk to AlFaruq
Howsawi leadin
after this we start our persuit
of fun and happiness, i know we speeding

but its all good
we rollin
headin nowhere, im in my hood
me and my homies strollin

Accord,Civic ,City
Bora,Benz and an old buick
Caprice, Mazda with pity
any car lets just do it

me n my dawgs control the world
tarneeb all night
sit and watch it unfold
sumbody get me a sprite.

amma kill for one of em
more than blood brothers
it was years of revin like an RPM
with cops on our ass like feathers

we've seen death
and a jail cell
lost our breath
n got stories to tell

unconditional love to all of u
i miss my dawgs
11 pm , goddamn ahmad stop being a jew
long nights fire up the logs

Ahmad, Umair n Moe
Omar, Haitham n Waseem
we brothers and u a foe
Abdu's playin a girls team


To my Lifetime Dawgs
P.E.A.C.E.
Haytham

One above you

Dear world with itself
everybit of me regrets you
i dispise existence myself
waste of time,its untrue

i dont know where we headin
every person on his own
smiles and tears sheddin
trynna build a throne

i love the hardships that are mine
family, friends and the girls i love
i hate when people say everythin is fine
bless or curse from above

i was hell myself
3 years before this ice
starving while food is on the shelf
i played with my life like rollin dice

but i made it
and i made it alone
not once have i split
always headin to the unknown

keys to ignition
strugglin with my own
never had time for transition
my heart turned to stone

i come n go, dont matter
i look at u and i know
soon we gonna scatter
yet everythin is goin so slow

im feelin cold
and heartless
soul nearly sold
transgress

gotta let go
and sametime love u
u aint gonna grow
cuz im above you

remember that...

To Montreal

In this city my good collided with bad
far from my own
in a small apartment, its sad
gray skies fade in with gray stone

speakin sum kinda english tease
i never undestrand, everything is bent
lil dots on top of "E"'s
damn right you ppl have an accent
excuse me, English PLEASE :]

in this city homeless roam
in back alleys they sleep tonight
no place to call home
some ask aggresively and sum are polite

winter is below zero
white, yellow and brown slush
snow blower is the hero
im cold bitch! this aint a blush!

From Mashaweena to NetZone
Paramount to the AMC
here lets exchange a ringtone
and decide on somethin to see

Goddamn not again
ALRIGHT! flip a COIN
drag the lebanease guy with a chain
goddamn that was a cheap shot to the groin :s

In summer suddenly everythin gets shorter
WTF is that girl!
shoot her with a moarter
please dont do the twirl

Uni in the middle of downtown
college is too crowded
haha the escalator broke down
infront of Dawson the sky is clouded

Brathar no, brathar yes
future wife in sight
haram this, now bastard bitch confess
TJ brothers come closer,invite

its been a good three years, time to go
from Mcgill to Atwater
St. Cathrine is where u'll find the dough
please father pay attention to your daughter
its a city that pushes u to go with the flow

5 people ill never forget
boring as hell gotta admit
they were always fun to threat
black brother we once lit

ya umm .. snowboarding..
i try to forget
goddamn video recording
yet it was nothing we regret.

Peaces...
from the 514 to the 519
966 once in a while
flip the dime
im sure its worthwhile

To Montreal...

Cash.

I wish for once money didnt matter
I wish for once people saw
I wish for once they didnt let our dreams shatter
and I wish for once it was an unfollowed law

Money aint security
Money is a just a tool to make our surroundings match our taste

Answer these questions vice versa:
How many people feed themselves money? (Literally eat it?)
How many people hug it?
How many people love it?
How many miss it?

Money does not last
It comes and goes and mostly goes
Its either spent/ taken / stolen / saved or invested
It seems like money is always goin somewhere without You
What about u?
What happens to u?
Who spends time with u /takes u with them /steals u for themselves /saves u or invests in u?
See the difference?

~ Money Does Not Matter.. We Do~